I could still vividly remember our Holy Week of 2009 when for the first time my husband willingly joined us ( my children and I) in our "Bisita Iglesia" where we prayed the 14 stations of the cross in our visit to 9 churches within the vicinity of our residence in Quezon City. It was a very heartwarming experience because my husband could not hide his excitement and fascination over his first experience of this Catholic ritual as an expresion of ou faith in God. He patiently drove us to all the churches we visited and joined us in praying our way to the stations of the cross that day.
I certainly understand his lack of understanding of his Catholic faith because he was only baptized as Catholic a day before our wedding at a Catholic Church twenty five years ago. Although he claimed then that he is a Buddhist I really believed he was not because he was not a practicing Buddhist. He never attended or did Buddhist rituals except a few Chinese religious rituals from time to time which for me were just some kind of Chinese tradition or practice which my children still follow today.
That first " Bisita Iglesia " experience with him for my children was really fun. They've been used to attending masses with their Dad but not joining processions, and this Lenten celebration rituals. He'd always brag to us his deep faith in God which is not measured according to him by the many times one hears mass or attends religious events. I remember how very often he'd always told his children that for as long as you do not do bad to others, that would suffice for God's test of your faith in Him. Do good to others had always been his life's motto and I guess he really lived his motto seriously considering the many people in need he helped and cared for.
That Holy Week experience so I thought could have been a start of a yearly family bonding with God but sadly, it turned out to be the first and the last because that same year, a few moths after, my husband unexpectedly passed away to join our creator.
Looking back, I just wondered why all of a sudden he willingly succumbed to my invitation without my convincing effort which he'd always declined before. He was very happy for having joined us that day and he even joked us that he was still very willing to drive us to visiting more churches if we like which the three of us said no in chorus. He blurted out though that he was referring to the next Holy Week,
That event left an indellible mark in our hearts and for two years now we're back to our "Bisita Iglesia" without him. Doing the ritual without him still pains us but we believe that God gifted us that special year for the four of us so that we will always have that event to cherish comes Holy Week. It was a beautiful gift we received from him and God. I guess his message is for us to keep our faith in God because that same faith brought him where he is now, in the loving arms of GOD his savior.
The reeent Holy Week brought the three of us tracing back the churches we visited then but now more subdued, less pain, and full of hope that our strong faith in God, will move us to continue living a happy and more meaningful life ahead for the three of us without him.
We thank God for keeping us strong and hopeful.
my life blog
A man of honor, he claims so, shot himself dead right at the love spot, the heart. Why will a Former Philippine AFP Chief of Staff, whose courage and bravery is beyond any doubt commit such well known cowardice act of suicide? It brings confusion to any ordinary mind set, a soldier must be brave.He directed his heart to bravely face death. Is that courage? Only he knows. Yes, he was into a controversy over allegations of corruption in the organization he once led with vigor and dedication. Is it because he'd done great deeds but was not spared of the ailing media who loves hot issues no matter how gravely this would affect the most the dignity of any human alive? Is he the innocent victim caught in crossfire with freedom and democracy in action as mentioned in newspapers these days?
"Heartpal" or love pal that I am, I'd like to believe that "Angie" as many call him committed this dastardly act on his life not because he lost his mind, not because he ran out of courage, not because he wants to ran away from all the mess surrounding him, but because of one universal truth that is "LOVE"
Whether he was guilty or not he acted as he did because:
he Loved his family tremendously and he wants to spare them from all the pains this controversy brings
he Loved his enemies, his enemies who willed where he was into before his death, and preferred to suffer
instead ( the whistle blowers and those higher than him who masterminded the corruption)
he Loved and values integrity and dignity that he did not want to strip people he knew are culpable.
he loved his mother, and like a child who needs a mother's love when in pain, he chose to follow her
he loved peace, he left his war zone on Earth and chose to join his SAVIOR to strip him off from all his
earthly pains and anxieties
For the religious who have other views regarding God's concept of his manner of death, we have but one common question in mind, will GOD forgive Angie?
God is aware that at times we reach some lowest points in our lives and our weakest sense surfaces automatically without liking it. The military man, is not spared of this. I still believe that the sin of forgetting ones sense is a human weakness God breathed into our system so that we will have moments of discernment on how much He loves us. I hope that for as long as Angie asked God for forgiveness and was able to see how much GOD loves him before his last breath, God's forgiveness will always prevail. God understands us even in the lowest points in our lives. Please post your comments.